OK, well since the last time that I wrote in my Xanga, a bunch has happened. 

I went on a PLEN Women in Science and Technology Public Policy conference in DC.  It was my second time being in DC in a week and I actually love the city now! The conference opened up my eyes to a bunch of possible career opportunities, but its very hard to plan my life now, so I'm not even going to try.  I think its going to be either grad school for psychology, with hopes of becoming a Christian counselor or law school.  If I graduate from law school, I'd like to do public policy work.  Right now, I'm just waiting to see where the Lord takes me.

DC was also nice because I got to hang out with Nestor again.  It's been forever since I last saw him, but he graciously showed me the city and we had the best time.  :)  Nestor, if you're reading this, you stalker-I hope you come back to south jersey for law school, so I can "convert" you, then we can get married, and take turns watching the kids.  Just kidding!

I was also baptized last week. Baptism was always in the back of my mind when I was growing up, but as bad as this sounds, I just never got around to it, was too self-conscious to, etc etc. I'm  very happy now and I was very glad to see so many of my friends there.  Note to my friends: I was very happy to see you all there-it made me feel loved. Thanks for coming!

Last night, I went to an event of Gravity with Frans and Rachel.  They had a Christian concert that was pretty spiritually moving.  Hopefully i'll get a chance to go to more of Gravity's events.

Ok, so its been forever since I last wrote in this diary online.  This has always been a trait of mine-I start writing in a diary and then I just stop after a day or so.

Well, I just got back from the Campus Crusade Christmas Conference which was in Washington, D.C. The conference was so great and so much fun!  It seemed like every message was what I needed to hear at the time. Worship, fellowship, and prayer times were also awesome, as usual. 

The day of outreach was successful, even though all of the non-Christians didn't even want to listen to us.  However, we did meet many strong Christians and its always nice to see Christians who admit to their faith and are doing something about it, to advance it. 

At one point during the conference, we started talking about soul mates. Fox began saying that he thought that it was almost against God to think of soul mates which lead to an interesting discussion on it.  I've been doing some thinking about it and I decided to share it with everyone out there.

On one hand, I met one man a few years ago (we'll call him Doe) and from the moment I saw him I thought he was my soul mate.  After talking to him and hanging out with him, we ended up not being together. The rest of the year ended up being a waste romantically and spiritually as I spent many hours wondering why Doe and me weren't together.   In my 20 years I have never been as attracted to someone as I was to him.  This has influenced my view of soul mates-if there are such things as soul mates, then I was sorely misled for I was convinced in everyway that he was mine.

However, in one aspect the Lord does give us soulmates for the Lord has preordained the spouse that we will get.  As one author wrote, "the Lord does not give us the spouse that we want, but the spouse that we need. The spouse who challenges us in the areas where we need to be challenged and who lets us grow in the areas where we need to grow."

1 Corinthians 7:2"But since there is so much immortality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband."

Well, this is my first diary entry and it feels very weird. I doubt I am going to prublish anything very personal on the website...it would be too much like "The Real World" to have a bunch of strangers reading my thoughts.

I've been doing a lot of thinking, soul-searching, and praying recently and its led to a bunch of conclusions.  For the first time in my life, I am now actually happy being single.  I don't necessarily regret any of my past relationships, but I do feel as though the time could have been better spent working on me as an individual and growing in my faith.  I don't want to be in the position ever again where I'm torn between my faith and what I know is right and my paramour of the moment.  I've really began to trust God and have realized that its not what I want, but what he wants. 

Just trusting God is how I'm approaching my next relationship.  I can see myself in the future with someone, but not necessarily right now.  And I'm beginning to realize its not a bad thing at all. :)